Are all men perverts?

Short answer: Yes.
How can I prove this? Easy. Please look at the following photo:

Now if you were sleeping in the same room as her, what kind of thoughts would be traveling through your mind? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be thinking about what you had for dinner 2 weeks ago!

Alright. So I have just proven a few things:

#1. All guys are perverts
#2. Real men stare at women
#3. If you deny these two facts of life, you are probably a gay man.
#4. If you’re a straight man, and you deny these facts, then your name is probably Phil.
#5. All straight men big perverts.

It’s an undeniable fact. Men love women. And given the chance, men would take advantage of women to satisfy horrible, horrible cravings…UNLESS!

You are Fobulous (Chris).
Okay. So Fobulous was telling us about his friend B. Here’s how the conversation started:

Fobulous: b and i used to spend hours and hours at her house, playing puzzle fighter all day
MViolator: did u tangle ur legs up
Smaky: u wanted to play puzzle fighter
Smaky: she was playing puzzle fighter hoping u would eventually come to your sense and jump her
Fobulous: b is in LA
MViolator: chris
MViolator: take her!
MViolator: i’ll take her
MViolator: gimme her fone #
Fobulous: hahahhah
Smaky: I think Kuan needs a gf
Smaky: so he doesn’t feel as lonely that Greg left him
Fobulous: actually
Fobulous: once when we crashed in la
Fobulous: she let us crash at her place
Smaky: u banged her?
Fobulous: my friends slept in the living room
Fobulous: i slept in her room
Smaky: with her?
Fobulous: (on the floor)
Smaky: wtf
Smaky: when she was asleep
MViolator: gimmer her fone #
Fobulous: when she woke up
Smaky: and cop a feel
Fobulous: her boobs were hanging out of her nightie
Fobulous: i totally had to look away and pretend i didn’t see anything
Fobulous: hahahahhahah
MViolator: hahahahaha
Smaky: and?
Fobulous: so awkward =(
Smaky: lies
Smaky: u stare at that and go
Smaky: niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Fobulous: no
Smaky: and then tilt ur head sideways
Smaky: and keep staring
Smaky: hey
Fobulous: i saw it and quickly looked at an interesting spot on the ceiling
Smaky: I bet she wanted u to see
Fobulous: and she put them back in their holster
MViolator: was it nice?
Smaky: theres nothing interesting on the ceiling
Smaky: she put them back in
Smaky: cuz u werent looking
Fobulous: but i couldn’t look her in the day all day
Smaky: whats the point of airing them out
Smaky: if no one is looking
MViolator: big tits?
Fobulous: hahhaha
Smaky: haha
Fobulous: i’m totally going to stop this discussion, right here
Fobulous: lol
Smaky: tell her to come to the FS meet in socal
Smaky: NO
Smaky: keep it going
Fobulous: go ahead, but you’ll get no more input about it from me =p

Okay. Quick break here. So what is your opinion of Fobulous now? He’s a strange fellow isn’t he? You might think he’s going to break the facts of life and prove that there are straight nonperverted men… But no!

Now we all know khoi is the most reserved person in the bunch. Many girls claim he’s super sweet, super nice, a gentleman… but please note what his comments on the matter are:

Smaky: lies
khoi|wok: who is this?
MViolator: show pix!!!!
Smaky: u prob just pitched a tent remembering that event
MViolator: pix
MViolator: i know u took cam pix
khoi|wok: pix
pdoggeth_: that’s risque
gyuri: dude
gyuri: a girl flashed her boobies at you
gyuri: you slept in her room
gyuri: ..
gyuri: CHRIS IS GAY!
Smaky: exactly Tony
Fobulous: yes, i saw it
Fobulous: yes, i had to look away
MViolator: hehehe
Fobulous: what else am i supposed to do? gawk?
imode: yes
khoi|wok: touch it
MViolator: take cam pix!!!
imode: hahaha
Fobulous: if i gawked, i probably would’ve gotten kicked out
khoi|wok: poke at it
Smaky: yes
imode: hahaha
Smaky: or be like
khoi|wok: lick it
Fobulous: dude, that was like the first night we were there
imode: marvel at its wonders
Fobulous: we were going to be there more nights
Smaky: “can you remove the nightie so I can get a more complete unobstructed view”
Smaky: its not like your nightie is working anyways
khoi|wok: cover it with your hands
Fobulous: i didn’t want us to get kicked out
imode: “can the other one come out and play?”
gyuri: yup
gyuri: yup
gyuri: she’s a girl!
gyuri: she invited you into her room!
gyuri: dude
Smaky: and flashed u
* gyuri slaps Fobulous around with a massive tent
gyuri: !
Smaky: like she would wear something risque
gyuri: ya
Smaky: with u sleeping in her room
Fobulous: it was just because there was no more room in the living room for me to stay!
Smaky: if she wasn’t looking for some action
Smaky: dood
gyuri: all girls know guys are pervs!
Smaky: exactly
Fobulous: she let me in her room cuz she trusted me =(
gyuri: uh huh
gyuri: i bet she told her buddies the next day
Smaky: if she didn’t wantu to jump her
gyuri: ‘i think chris is gay. he saw my boobs and looked away’
Smaky: she would have worn full blown pjs
Smaky: not some flimsy nightie
gyuri: yup yup
khoi|wok: she wore a nightgown?
Smaky: SEE
Smaky: even Khoi understands
MViolator: who wears nitegowns to sleep neway
MViolator: its for sex
Smaky: knowing there is a guy sleeping in her room
MViolator: yup
MViolator: totally

Okay. As you can see, khoi proves my facts of life. Khoi, the guy that denies he has interests in his Viet/Viet/Brunette/Japanese coworker, comes out with very perverted actions. Anyways, the conversation doesn’t end at just that!

Fobulous: i’ve met some weird girls
Fobulous: there was this one girl
Fobulous: she totally talked about how she sleeps naked
Fobulous: she hella asked me to help her move her bed and shit
Smaky: other than like actually jumpoing u naked and trying to rape u
Smaky: to make room for u
MViolator: did u see wet spots?
imode: LOL
imode: he went all CSI on the bed
MViolator: nite vision gogles
Fobulous: so i would hang out at her place all the time
Smaky: I would
Fobulous: and i would like fall asleep on the counch
Fobulous: and she would too
Smaky: for the FS meet
Smaky: can I crash in her room
Fobulous: and she totally be like, “I wanna bite you right now”
imode: lol
Smaky: I want to see some boobies
MViolator: hahahahahahaha
Fobulous: and i’d be too sleepy
Fobulous: and be like, “um, sure”
Smaky: she bite ur dick
Fobulous: she’d bite, i’d scream, and then go back to sleep
imode: nice
Fobulous: WTF
MViolator: lol
imode: …….
Smaky: wtf
Smaky: thats so random
* MViolator/#finklses bites Fobulous
Smaky: and made no sense
imode: too kinky for me
Fobulous: i told you she was weird
Smaky: well ur also weird
Smaky: u just scream and fall back asleep
Smaky: u know when someone bites me
Smaky: I just yell and fall back asleep
Fobulous: well
Smaky: no problems
Fobulous: i would threaten her
Fobulous: with shit like
Fobulous: you bite me
Fobulous: and i’mma rape you

Smaky: i fuck u?
Fobulous: she’d do it anyways
Smaky: HEY
MViolator: whoa
imode: well
Smaky: that means she wants u to rape her
MViolator: she wnat sto be FUCKED!
MViolator: wowwwww
Smaky: yah
Smaky: SEE
imode: you’re supposed to rape her
Smaky: me and Z are on the same page
MViolator: dang u chris
Smaky: yah
Smaky: when u put it out like that
MViolator: u got 2 oppors
Smaky: and she still does it
MViolator: right there
Smaky: it means shes daring u to do it
Smaky: and doesn’t actually mind
MViolator: u sure u not gay?
imode: was she ugly or something?
imode: pop it like it’s hot?
Smaky: who cares
Smaky: just paper bag that
MViolator: ol
Smaky: its not like u HAVE to fuck the face
Smaky: thats optional
Fobulous: they were both hot
imode: …
Fobulous: and smart
* Smaky/#finklses falls out of his chair
Smaky: u goof

Alright. So there were two hot and smart girls, and he denied them loving. Maybe he’ll get it right with a third girl?

Fobulous: another one
Fobulous: in taiwan
Fobulous: was 15
imode: okay
Smaky: OK
imode: okay
Smaky: OK
imode: okay
imode: OKAY
Smaky: DO NOT TELL US ABOUT 15 year old
Fobulous: she wanted me like no other
Fobulous: hahahha
Smaky: I dont want to be an accessory to statutory rape
imode: hahahahaha
MichelleW: ahhahahahahahhahahahah
imode: unless she was hot
imode: then continue
Fobulous: i told her that i already had another gf
Fobulous: and she said, “it’s okay, i can be your on-the-side gf”
imode: side salad
Smaky: so
Fobulous: i was like, wtf, why would you do that to yourself?
imode: nice
Smaky: did u make her the on-the-side gf
Smaky: ?
Fobulous: i kissed her once =p
Fobulous: i kissed her once =p
Fobulous: nicely
Smaky: 15 year old
Smaky: or bernice
Fobulous: on the cheek

Alright. Please tell me what you think. I for one vote that Chris is either batting for the other team, or he’s Phil in disguise. I kind of don’t know which option to vote for either… But one thing I do know for sure is… Chris is pedo.

This entry was posted in General, Life, Rants, Women. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Are all men perverts?

  1. imode says:

    First in an epic post.

  2. P-Dog says:

    Hey what is this line supposed to mean: “I for one vote that Chris is either batting for the other team, or heโ€™s Phil in disguise.”

  3. myst says:

    UPDATE! More is revealed!

    Fobulous: i’ll be honest though
    Fobulous: i’d date her in a millisecond

  4. is2hyolee says:

    Top stuff chris ๐Ÿ˜€

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