I apologize on behalf to all those…

who have been affected by a growing epidemic that originates from my people group. What epidemic and what people group you ask? Well that would be asian women in giant SUVs. We in the asian community have known about this problem for quite some time and have tried to keep it with-in the confines of our communities but from time to time people on the outside are affected when a rogue asian woman in a giant SUV gets loose and does something stupid.

This is the apology I had to give my friend the other day. My friend was at a crosswalk, needing to get to the other side of the road so he could catch the bus to work. The road in questions has 2 lanes each way for a total of 4 lanes, in 3 of the lanes, vehicles had stopped so my friend assumed it was safe to cross at that point. Well, my dear readers, having vehicles stopped @ 3 of the 4 lanes is not good enough, because as my friend started crossing, he was promptly plowed at 60km/h by an asian woman driving a big black SUV. I can only assume that said asian woman was in a rush for who knows what, noticed that in 3 of the 4 lanes vehicles had stopped. Rather than ponder why these lanes had vehicles at a complete stop AT A CROSSWALK, said asian woman spotted a lane that was open and devoid of vehicles and decided to make a dash for it and in the process proceeded to mow down a pedestrian in the middle of a crosswalk.

So everyone, if you have to cross the road at a crosswalk, wait until there are vehicles stopped in all lanes before you proceed as you never know when a crazy asian woman in a giant SUV will appear and strike you down. If you and various vehicles have to wait 15 mins for enough vehicles to show up to plug up all the lanes at a crosswalk then so be it, at least there will be a metal barricade to buffer you from said high velocity human bulldozer.

So to all the males, DON’T BUY YOUR WIFE/GF A GIANT SUV, tell her to get a giant hiking pack and tell her to walk. And to all the women, if you think you can drive, you probably can’t and should be banned from coming into contact with a SUV of any type.

My friend just had knee surgery a few hours ago and now there is metal holding his knee together and this will be followed by a lengthy recovery time including quite a bit of rehab. We plan to run him through the airport in the near future to see if his knee will set off the metal detectors 🙂

-Smaky

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10 Responses to I apologize on behalf to all those…

  1. is2hyolee says:

    Female drivers lol, couldn’t agree with you more 😡

    – jamz

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