So now I want boobs…

You know how girls seem to always complain about guys staring at their chests? Well, yesterday, I was kind of jealous as to why no girls ever stare at my chest!

Since I’ve been losing a little weight now, my clothes are starting to get a little loose.  I was interested in picking up a new dress shirt and maybe even a suit.  It’s been a while since I’ve had my body measured, so I decided to walk into a nice store and have myself fitted with a new suit.

A nice girl walks up to me to help me.  I tell her that I’m looking for a new suit and she’s really happy to help me.  Then she looks at my chest and looks away, probably thinking of something nice to say about my flatness.  She then replys, “Well let’s have you measured then!”  And she grabs my arms and throws them into the air, whips a tape measure around me and measures my chests.  (Now how often have some of you guys wished you could do that to a girl XD).

So she measures me, and then has this kind of disappointed look.  “Well it seems like you’re a size 40.  You can start from there and move down.”

(Brief side note.  This is one reason I’m glad I’m a guy.  If a guy ever told a girl, “Hey, why don’t you start at a size 7 and work your way down?” I know that’s just opening a can of whoop.  But being a guy, hey… It’s alright.  Plus it’ll be nice to know you’re slimmer than people think you are.  Yeah yeah, I know I have twisted logic.)

Well this morning I talked to a female coworker about my experience, and she was all disappointed too.  “I thought you were a size 42!”  And she looked at my chest all disappointedly too.

So that’s it!  I’m resolved now.  I will grow man boobs.  I will make my chest something to look at.  Last night I hit the gym and decided to pump my chest full of muscles.  Now give me 6 months, and I’ll be sporting a tight fitting suit with my size 32 pants still!  Just you watch you disappointed females.  I will have boobs!